Love, Life and Laundry

So. I SWEAR I am getting a little thinner. After all I have my winter coat now.
But if I suck in my cheeks I soooo look like I should be on the catwalk (geddit?). And I'm sure I can see my toes better.
I think I'm a little lighter too, my KT says that she'll weigh me to find out. I don't know what that is exactly, but I'm not too sure I like the sound of it. I'm sure there'll be no food involved anyway.
My diet has been going well. I only stole a little bit of food from the plate belonging to KT's boy Tiger. He was eating meat for human beings and I took just a tiny little bit. I also took a lick from some cake that KT was about to eat. She wasn't very happy with me 'coz then she had to cut all the bits that I had licked which were like, her favourite icing bits.
Oh well.
More later.
Peace out.
Bram.

WHAT I ATE TODAY
BY BRAM
AGE 3 1/2

Not enough...

Two tiny tiny little bowls of dried catfood with water in to make it all mushy (ick).

Am feeling grumpy (have just seen my tail flicking), hungry and quite faint.

Off to have a sleep.

So today, I had to go to the vet with my owner. She stood and looked at her feet while the vet shouted at her (nicely) about quite how fat I am. Now, I'm a good looking boy, 3 years old, ginger with a white bib and socks. But.
So the last time I went to see the vet I had to get my toe amputated.
The time before that it was something a bit more personal that I won't go into.
I'll also leave out the bit about the year before when I fell out the bedroom window (it's on the second floor). Or the time when the bee stung my paw and then I tried to eat it. The bee, not my paw.
Anyway.
The lady vet was very mad at KT (my owner) and I don't think KT was too pleased as she would consider herself a good pet owner. And the other pets in my house! Sammo 'the drooling fool' Boxer dog and Mr. Spock 'I can eat what I want and still look like a supermodel' cat. OK, I'll fess up here, it was ME who ate all the food leaving him a little rickle of bones, mwah ha ha ha haaaa.
But enough about all that.
This is just to say that I am very bored as I have to go on a d-i-e-t as I currently weigh 7kg when I should be 5.
So I'll check in and let you know how I'm getting on with my two tiny servings of food a day instead of the 'eat all you like buffet' that is usually on offer in my house.
Bram.